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#2935
Application to date my daughter
mo - 8/11/2008 12:03 PM
Category: General
Replies: 6

(REVOCABLE AT ANY TIME)

NOTE - This application will be Incomplete and rejected unless accompanied by a complete financial statement, job history, lineage, and current medical report from your doctor.

1. NAME:_____________________ DATE OF BIRTH: _______________

2. HEIGHT:___________ WEIGHT: ______IQ: ________GPA: ______

3. SOCIAL SECURITY : ___________DRIVERS LICENSE : _________

4. BOY SCOUT RANK:_______________________________________

5. HOME ADDRESS: ________________CITY: _________ ZIP ______

6. Do you have one MALE and one FEMALE parent? Yes____ No_______ If NO, explain: ________________________________________________

7. Number of years parents married: ___________

8. DO YOU OWN A VAN? ____ A TRUCK WITH OVERSIZED TIRES OR CAMPER SHELL? ____ WATERBED? _____ MOTORCYCLE? _____ TATTOO? ____ COLOR ALTERED HAIR? ___ (IF YES TO ANY PART OF 8, DISCONTINUE APPLICATION AND LEAVE PREMISES IMMEDIATELY)

9. In 50 words or less, what does "Late" mean to you? _________________________________________________________

10. In 50 words or less, what does "DO NOT TOUCH MY DAUGHTER" mean to you? _________________________________________________________

11. In 50 words or less, what does "ABSTINENCE" mean to you? _________________________________________________________

12. What church do you attend? ________________ How often do you attend? ____/ week

13. When would be the best time to interview your father, mother, priest or pastor? ____________

14. Fill in the blanks: Please answer freely - all answers are confidential (That means I won’t tell anyone - I promise):

A. If I were shot, the last place on my body I would want to be wounded is in the _____________

B. If I were beaten, the last bone I would want broken is my _____________

C. A women’s place is in the __________________

D. The one thing I hope this application does not ask me about is ____________________

E. When I first meet a girl, the first thing I notice is _____________________ (NOTE: If the answer to "E" begins with a B, T, or A, discontinue and leave the premises immediately with your head hung low.)

15. What do you want to be IF you grow up? _________________________

16. Do you plan to attend a Catholic or Christian College? _________ Which one? ____________

I SWEAR THAT ALL INFORMATION SUPPLIED ABOVE IS TRUE AND CORRECT TO THE BEST OF MY KNOWLEDGE UNDER PENALTY OF DEATH, DISMEMBERMENT, NATIVE AMERICAN ANT TORTURE, CRUCIFIXION, ELECTROCUTION, CHINESE WATER TORTURE, AND RED HOT POKERS.

_____________________ Signature (That means sign your name)

Thank you for your interest. Please allow four to six years for processing. You will be contacted in writing if you are approved. Please do not try to call or write (this action will void this application). If your application is rejected you will be notified by two angels wearing red suits and carrying pitch forks. (You might want to start praying now).
#2935
Subscribed
mo - 8/12/2008 5:39 AM

Dear Reaseafrog,

Your application to date the wife has been approved.

When applying you automatically agreed to the strict non return policy and the $1,000,000 penalty if you do not collect within 5 working days of receiving this approval notification.

I can confirm your date is now available to be collected if collection is not possible why not take advantage of my free shipping option.

Mo
#622
Matt65 - 8/13/2008 6:25 AM
Can she be test driven prior to the filling out of the application?
#2935
Subscribed
mo - 8/13/2008 10:20 AM

Dear Brother of Reaseafrog,

I have had many reasons given to me as to why an applicant can no longer take delivery, I am happy to cancel an agreement when misfortune falls.

However I have investigated to the heath and wellbeing of your brother Redseafrog, and have found him to be well and still diving the Red Sea.

See photographic proof


I have now shipped your brothers date, and would again refer him to the non returns policy

Take care my friend
#1647
tjdiving - 8/13/2008 2:03 PM
You guys are hilarious! I bet my father wishes he had one of these when me and my THREE older sisters were dating!!!