I can give you an example of what I would charge to ship a hypothetical set of gear to you in NY from my shop. I will give you the pricing for 1 and you can double it for the 2 of you.
$3020/2 = $1520 budget for each of you.
Edge Element BCD with Environmental sealed Epic regulator and Nano Octopus, 2 gauge console $749.95
(Environmental sealing is important for cold or salt water)
Upgrade to a 3 gauge console with compass for $50
Mask, Fin, Snorkel package: Flex fins with choice of HOG or Edge mask and Costa Dry or Aero Semi-Dry snorkel - $99.95
You will also need boots that can be added for $20.
Add a knife (several to choose from) $22.95 with package
I throw in a free mesh bag to carry all of the above.
Gloves are $20 for your choice of 3mm or 5mm or tropical
That leaves us with $607.15 remaining in the budget.
3mm wetsuit $99.95 - This depends on where you will dive. You may need a heavier one.
This leaves you with $507.20 for your spear gun and tanks. I would hold off purchasing those until after you complete your certification. You may end up spending some of that on a thicker wetsuit.
A quick note about environmental sealing. A reg that is not sealed lets water inside. This is not good if it freezes but if you are a warm water diver only you can save some money on a non-sealed regulator. The other concern is that since water gets inside they need to be rinsed very well especially if diving in salt water. They work very well in warm salt water but require a little extra post-dive attention.
Hope this helps.