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I have one of those "bad Buddies". To be fair to him he is new to the sport, but has this invincibilty complex. I guess I will keep working with him, until such point that he puts himself or myself in danger then thats it. Hope its not all too late.
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Hi there, Bad buddies come in all shapes and sizes however one must look at what makes them a bad buddy in the first place. To be honest I have been one myself, and it was not hard to get into that category. Complacency is the culprit in my case as both of us had been diving together, he a divemaster and I an instructor we entered the water with really not discussing the dive plan. Remember what you are taught ‘Plan Your Dive and Dive Your Plan’ that takes the both of us understanding one another’s expectations. After the dive I knew where I had failed him. After he blew off steam we talked over dinner and also discussed the events that lead to this with our dive club. Ultimately we all became better divers by talking through the events and learning from them. All of us even dive professionals continue to learn from one another and this event was no different.
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This is a GREAT thread. I live in CA, friend lives in HI, we decided to study for our OW through PADI simultaneously, and then do our AOW`s together in HI. I was SO looking forward to it. Finally, I get to dive with him, and he had this cocky Navy Seal attitude (he`s in the Navy, but not a Seal) and I was scared to death being a new diver and putting my life in his hands. I dove the rest of my stay without him while he was at work! *LOL* Being female, the risks of diving with an anonymous buddy are even more compounded. I`m inexperienced, but I dive safe and calm, and am a good communicator. However, I need to learn more myself so I don`t feel at the mercy of my buddy. So, that`s what I`m looking for - a SAFE and COMMUNICATIVE buddy who is more experienced than I am and is willing to show me the ropes. Scary thing is, how do you know you can trust a stranger? How do you get to know someone on the surface, then transfer a feeling of trust underwater? Any suggestions?
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THe best thing that I have found with any dive buddy is communication. It takes a while for one person to "fully" understand another persons signals underwater. When you get out from the fisst dive, explain what you meant by a signal if the other person did not understand. Also ask (in a non-judgemental way) what the other was trying to say under there. Some thing like "What did you mean when we were by the wreck and you mad this gesture, I was totaly lost for a meaning, I hope that we did not miss anything cool." It has worked for me in the past, you eventually get a feel for one another. PADI has lots of signs but not enought for complete communication, especially with a newer diver. You would be suprised how you can turn a bad into a good if you both have a better understanding of one another. That being said, there are people that just do not get along...
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I have several suggestions. You bring up a great point about women seeking dive buddies. There is more than just is he a good dive buddy. I`m an ex-cop and Marine Embassy Guard and have worked private security so personal safety is aa lot subject I know well. In fact I`m writing a book on the subject tentatively titled "No More Victims" I suggest when you dive with a new buddy, try to add them to a dive with someone you know. Another option is to dive with them off a boat where you drive there seperatly. If it`s a shore dive meet at the beach and dive from a busy beach. Avoid being alone with someone you don`t know. Dive clubs and organized dives are so great. Go with a group, meet lots of new dive buddies. Performance AS A BUDDY, its important to communicate. Often people are afraid to take charge so they are waiting for you to suggest a gear check or plan the dive. I like to talk about the dive after as well. This is your chance to discuss how you both can be better next time.
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I am the guy writing the book, but i ran out of soace on my first message...imagine that an aspiring authour who could fill the whole 1000 characters. I just wanted to add that if you are in Southern California contact me and i`ll add you to one of the dives I have with a group. I`m working at getting my instructor cert, and often dive with a group from a scuba shop or with other friends. we could meet at the boat/beach and you could meet several divers that way and still remain in control of your safety. Several of my dive buddies are instructors, both PADI and NAUI so being good buddies comes naturally to them and to me. My screen name is Notafraid. Anyone who needs a quality buddy who will regard your safety above the surface as just as important as below feel free to contact me. Steve
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Thanks Steve! What you are saying is what I do by nature. I always dive with new people by bringing them along with a group and always meet them there. I had never thought about it too much, simply that I would rather get to know people before I trust them. It is nice to have someone formalise it and legitimise it in a sense. I am also glad that we are able to put individual photos on the picts and profiles section that arent related to diving. It allows us to get a vauge sense of a person we dont know as a guidance to what they may be like. AS for bad diving buddies. I have dived with one who only seemed to try and dive with me to get into my pants and when he realised that wasnt happening he disappeared. I wanted a dive buddy not to be someone latest target! Very annoying!
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