Take a deep breath, Hold it............relaaaaxxxxxx. Good. Now, it looks to me like your on a mission of self acceptance. The only problem is that your not looking inward for that, your looking outward. Who cares who accepts you or doesnt accept you for who you are. Aside from God, no ones opinion of you is of any importance anyway. To skip a bunch of phsycho-babel im not qualified to utter, you will never find anyone who likes you until you learn to like yourself. Every time you try, you will eventually transfer the thoughts and feelings of your own self-dislike to those around you. It instantly becomes "their fault" or "their problem" and you move on to another group looking for more acceptance. The funny part is, and I have seen this a lot, is that after you leave, there are people left behind who genuinly liked you and cant figure out why you left. I personally am a member of a Christian church and this sort of thing happens all the time. Sometimes we can help, sometimes we cant. Its all up to the person. You can look to "religions" all you want, they dont help. People have a predisposed idea that if they go to church, everything will be fine. Most of the time these people never get past the first few layers of religion to the real stuff like having a personal relationship with God. Im a christian and "religion" gets on MY nerves. I personally believe that if you attend a christian church, look past the religious garbly goop, and get to the core of what being a christian is all about that you may have a change of heart. I guess I just placed myself in one of those catagories that your tired of dealing with.
I for one dont know you, and cant say whether I like you or dont. Some of that I just spouted out may be totally wrong. But I do know this. If your a competent diver, a safe diver, and not a drag to be around, Ill dive with you. Divings diving. If you dont scare the crap out of me down there and are good company on the surface, the rest will work itself out. good luck on your search. I hope you eventually find what you need.