#47319
"Significant other" membership approval
Greg - 12/19/2007 1:50 PM
Category: Romance
Replies: 14

It`s come up a few times already, a spouse wants a member to leave DiveBuddy due to a "conflict of interest" in the relationship.

I can understand the issues, especially if the member is chatting with a bunch of other members of the opposite sex. Here`s my idea...how about I add a "Spouse`s Email" field to the membership form that requires approval from the spouse before allowing the member to join. And maybe copy that spouse on all the messages from the member to other members. I`m sort of kidding, but I wouldn`t mind hearing your thoughts on the subject.

Thanks, Greg.
#27277
RAWalker - 12/19/2007 7:10 PM
I`d guess you`d be opening a real can of worms if you do anything but keep each and every members account separate and confidential. Let married couples work out their own problems and if they happen to bleed over onto Diveduddy.com then do whatever is needed to protect the site and other members from the situation.
#2636
NWKatShark - 12/19/2007 7:20 PM
I agree with the previous posts on this subject. The source of the problem is the relationship, not the site(s). If a Spouse has to "backdoor" the other Spouse, THEY need to talk.
#1315
froggiepatrol - 12/20/2007 8:42 AM
Greg I agree with all above. If there`s an issue with the site and one`s other than that is a relationship issue not a dive buddy issue. If that`s really an issue in the relationship then maybe they need to give up their log in and password to this other to insure they are being faithful. That is what it come`s down to they don`t trust the other and as sweet of you as it is to try to work something up to help resolve the issue it`s really not your responsibility to resolve.
#3969
DiveRex - 12/20/2007 8:44 AM
I concur with everyone so far that has replied. If there is a marital problem, it is not because of the site. They need counciling.

If you were going to do anything to change the site, I would remove the "something a bit more romantic" from the front page description. Lets face it, the romance category is not very active. And I doubt Larry is going to find his dream lady here!!! :) People will hook up on there own after they have dove together a few times. The first hurdle is diving together. Oh by the way.... any one want to go diving with me on New Years Day under the ice???

Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays to all......
#2636
NWKatShark - 12/20/2007 8:23 PM
Hey Don! I resemble that remark! AND, on the off chance that my cardiac princess does materialize, I might just think TWICE about inviting YOU to assist the Swedish Instructors!
#3969
DiveRex - 12/20/2007 10:50 PM
Aww come on man! I was just teasin.... I have actually been scouting for you.
#567
anemone - 12/23/2007 12:39 AM
I agree with all on here. The site is not the problem, the internal workings of the relationship is. You can`t police stuff like that, Greg. My dive buddies are either married or have girlfriends, and its strictly all about diving with us. Nothing is hidden, they all know about me and have no problem. Besides, I am selective.I don`t want seconds, leftovers or someone who belongs to someone else! LOL!
#3442
Dorkfish - 12/24/2007 9:36 AM
Greg, I looked into this slightly. A divorce attorney has informed me that some states may see this as a violation of the Privacy Act as well as a liability on the part of divebuddy.com.

We all want members to do the right thing, but those doing the wrong thing will conduct themselves in that manner regardless of where it is. This would mean that the spouse would need to chase down Myspace.com, Yahoo messenger, AOL messenger, and any other chatroom or IM program log out there. Simply creates a serious legal issue.
#3442
Dorkfish - 12/24/2007 9:39 AM
BTW, if any of the spouses have just cause to be suspicious, I would suggest that you install a keysrtoke tracker on your pc. This is a suggestion I make to parents all the time if they belive their child is on websites that are not appropriate or they fear the conduct that their child is expressing on community pages.
#2137
Buzo - 12/31/2007 8:56 AM
It is good to see that you have a healthy sense of humor, Greg. Add a spouse permission line. That is rich. No really, most divers are here to meet divers and talk about diving. You alreayd have a marital status line which should be more than enough to keep people straight. If married folks have trust issues, it isn`t divebuddy.com`s issue. That is an issue for marriage counseling. Have a Great and Happy New Year. Get Wet in 2008!!
#250
wpbdiver - 1/05/2008 1:08 PM
Are you friggan nuts?
#567
anemone - 1/07/2008 9:07 PM
And your point?